Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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