does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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