and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
