if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
