Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
