who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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