She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
