Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize