I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
