after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I use my feet as sexual weapons
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
