he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we're making bets on your personal life
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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