going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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