Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
