you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
