I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
