youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
