She is in my trunk
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
