so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
