what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
