Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
one might say we're banned from that church
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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