I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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