i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
