jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
