yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
