And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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