Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
then he tried to convert me to islam
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
