I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
