she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
