Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
