he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
