I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
