just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
