yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
