i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
