Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
