More tranny stories later!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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