I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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