No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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