how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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