it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Ketchup is God's man juice
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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