Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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