I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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