ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
