Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
