I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
