wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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