Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
