If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
