you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
