grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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