Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
