Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize