Kiss
Puke
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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