dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
