she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
