so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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