We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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