i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
