he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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