I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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