Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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