A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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