so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
