he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dignity is for republicans.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
