Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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