Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize